April 2022
Narrative Writing Piece
By Issie Hill
Clinging desperately onto the table leg trying to steady myself, I close my eyes and wait for it to end. During my pain, the shaking continues and a couple of items fall from my shelf, including a glass bowl. In my brain, it started screaming and wailing. When it then plundered the ground and it shatters into pieces. Quickly spreading, glass flew everywhere. A large chunk impaled itself in my leg, Repressing screaming in agony, I watched the blood ooze down from my leg and make a puddle on the floor. Within my leg, The pain was dripping into my as more and more items clattered on the ground - while the house shook. Painfully screaming my head off, I heard people’s voices, “She went this way”. Then the earthquake stopped, I heard them coming towards me. Frightfully, my heart went ramped like the stampede that killed Simba’s dad. What should I do!
Within my agony, I quietly proceeded to scatter around in my thoughts. You see, there is something I forgot to explain. Since the earthquakes began, it attracted visitors from across the galaxy, called the covenant. Awkwardly, their faces make weird noises because it’s moving around their gross flesh like a dislocating jaw, a buzzing sound, if you will. And within their brains, they are obsessed with obliterating the human race and they believe that they are the better. Clutching onto my impaled leg, I realise how much the covenant has ruined my life, for example.
It’s depressing, but both my parents have died, they were captured and killed. But on the bright side me and my sister are still alive. Cautiously, I have been stealing from the covenant for me and my sister. One, because I seek revenge for killing my parents. And two, they have incredibly valuable stuff, which is good for selling. And also three, Their guns are functional and high quality.
So, people are hunting me because they are subjects for the covenant, so they don’t get murdered by their supervisors. Also, I stole something that could end the war. I’m not exaggerating when I say that. When I was stealing the object, I didn’t realise the drastic measures it could have on the war.
“She went this way”. Their voices kept creeping towards me, I could hear their footsteps gaining on me. Quietly, I thought to myself - As much as the shard of glass in my leg hurt, being tortured would hurt more. I didn’t want to get tortured so I stuck my nose up and continued fighting the pain like a mentally diseased marvel protagonist. Silently, I got up trying not to wail or shriek out in pain. The door handle twisted sluggishly, building up my suspense. Grabbing the door frame, I didn’t have much time. Within my body, an agonising shock flowed through my nervous system. I felt scattered mentally then I flopped to the ground feeling light headed…
On the floor, I woke up in a daze. Suddenly, I realised I was not in my house anymore, it mortified me. I was desperate to let out a wail but I repressed it so I could grasp my surroundings and possible escape routes. Low and behold, a covenant member approached me holding a nail bat. Widening, my eyes scanned my surroundings in a panic. Scanning violently, looking for anything, /ANYTHING/! That would help me escape this mess. I didn’t want to die! Is this where my life would end? Being decimated and killed off like an underground chicken fight? Continuing to fight against the restraints like a world war veteran, I kicked and shrieked for freedom. My screaming was futile, the nail bat being risen and struck down. And there, it all faded to black.. my consciousness and all my memories, wiped in an instant.
Writing criteria:
I have successfully used a range of punctuation in my writing by including:
Add in preposition sentence starters
Add in verb sentence starters
Add in adverb sentence starters
Write at least two quality sentences to add to the storyline
Corrected punctuation and spelling
Improved vocabulary choices
Narrative Writing Piece
By Issie Hill
Clinging desperately onto the table leg trying to steady myself, I close my eyes and wait for it to end. During my pain, the shaking continues and a couple of items fall from my shelf, including a glass bowl. In my brain, it started screaming and wailing. When it then plundered the ground and it shatters into pieces. Quickly spreading, glass flew everywhere. A large chunk impaled itself in my leg, Repressing screaming in agony, I watched the blood ooze down from my leg and make a puddle on the floor. Within my leg, The pain was dripping into my as more and more items clattered on the ground - while the house shook. Painfully screaming my head off, I heard people’s voices, “She went this way”. Then the earthquake stopped, I heard them coming towards me. Frightfully, my heart went ramped like the stampede that killed Simba’s dad. What should I do!
Within my agony, I quietly proceeded to scatter around in my thoughts. You see, there is something I forgot to explain. Since the earthquakes began, it attracted visitors from across the galaxy, called the covenant. Awkwardly, their faces make weird noises because it’s moving around their gross flesh like a dislocating jaw, a buzzing sound, if you will. And within their brains, they are obsessed with obliterating the human race and they believe that they are the better. Clutching onto my impaled leg, I realise how much the covenant has ruined my life, for example.
It’s depressing, but both my parents have died, they were captured and killed. But on the bright side me and my sister are still alive. Cautiously, I have been stealing from the covenant for me and my sister. One, because I seek revenge for killing my parents. And two, they have incredibly valuable stuff, which is good for selling. And also three, Their guns are functional and high quality.
So, people are hunting me because they are subjects for the covenant, so they don’t get murdered by their supervisors. Also, I stole something that could end the war. I’m not exaggerating when I say that. When I was stealing the object, I didn’t realise the drastic measures it could have on the war.
“She went this way”. Their voices kept creeping towards me, I could hear their footsteps gaining on me. Quietly, I thought to myself - As much as the shard of glass in my leg hurt, being tortured would hurt more. I didn’t want to get tortured so I stuck my nose up and continued fighting the pain like a mentally diseased marvel protagonist. Silently, I got up trying not to wail or shriek out in pain. The door handle twisted sluggishly, building up my suspense. Grabbing the door frame, I didn’t have much time. Within my body, an agonising shock flowed through my nervous system. I felt scattered mentally then I flopped to the ground feeling light headed…
On the floor, I woke up in a daze. Suddenly, I realised I was not in my house anymore, it mortified me. I was desperate to let out a wail but I repressed it so I could grasp my surroundings and possible escape routes. Low and behold, a covenant member approached me holding a nail bat. Widening, my eyes scanned my surroundings in a panic. Scanning violently, looking for anything, /ANYTHING/! That would help me escape this mess. I didn’t want to die! Is this where my life would end? Being decimated and killed off like an underground chicken fight? Continuing to fight against the restraints like a world war veteran, I kicked and shrieked for freedom. My screaming was futile, the nail bat being risen and struck down. And there, it all faded to black.. my consciousness and all my memories, wiped in an instant.
Writing criteria:
I have successfully used a range of punctuation in my writing by including:
Add in preposition sentence starters
Add in verb sentence starters
Add in adverb sentence starters
Write at least two quality sentences to add to the storyline
Corrected punctuation and spelling
Improved vocabulary choices